Customer : Well, I’m not very technical,
but I think I’m ready to install now.
What do I do first?
Technical
Support : The first step is to open your
HEART. Have you located your
HEART, ma’am?
Customer : Yes, I have, but there are
several other programs running right
now. Is it okay to install while they are
running?
Technical
Support : What programs are running ma’am?
Customer : Let’s see…I have PAST-HURT.exe,
LOW-ESTEEM.exe,
GRUDGE.exe and RESENTMENT.com running now.
Technical
Support : No problem. LOVE will gradually
erase PAST-HURT.exe from
your current operating system. It may remain
in your permanent
memory, but it will no longer disrupt other
programs. LOVE will
eventually overwrite LOW-ESTEEM.exe with a
module of its
own called HIGH-ESTEEM.exe. However, you have
to
completely turn off GRUDGE.exe and
RESENTMENT.com.
These programs prevent LOVE from being
properly installed.
Can you turn those off, ma’am?
Customer : I don’t know how to turn them
off. Can you tell me how?
Technical
Support : My pleasure. Go to your Start
menu and invoke FORGIVENESS
.exe. Do this as many times as necessary
until it’s erased the
programs you don’t want.
Customer : Okay, now LOVE has started
installing itself automatically. Is
that normal?
Technical
Support : Yes. You should receive a
message that says it will reinstall for
the life of your HEART. Do you see that
message?
Customer : Yes, I do. Is it completely
installed?
Technical
Support : Yes, but remember that you have
only the base program. You
need to begin connecting to other HEARTS in
order to get the
upgrades.
Customer : Oops. I have an error message
already. What should I do?
Technical
Support : What does the message say?
Customer : It says “ERROR 412-PROGRAM NOT
RUN ON INTERNAL
COMPONENTS.” What does that mean?
Technical
Support : Don’t worry ma’am, that’s a
common problem. It means that the
LOVE program is set up to run on external
HEARTS but has not
yet been run on your HEART. It is one of
those complicated
programming things, but in non-technical
terms it means you
have to “LOVE” your own machine before it can
“LOVE”
others.
Customer : So, what should I do?
Technical
Support : Can you pull down the directory
called “SELF-ACCEPTANCE”?
Customer : Yes, I have it.
Technical
Support : Excellent. You’re getting good
at this. Now, click on the ff. files
and then copy them to the “MYHEART”
directory:
FORGIVE-SELF.doc, REALIZE-WORTH.txt and
ACKNOWLEDGE-LIMITATIONS.doc. The system will
over
-write any conflicting files and begin
patching any faulty
Programming. Also, you need to delete
VERBOSE-SELF-
CRITIC.exe from all directories, and then
empty your recycle
bin afterwards to make sure it is completely
gone and never
comes back.
Customer : Got it. Hey! My HEART is
filling up with new files, SMILES
.mpg is playing on my monitor right now and
it shows that
PEACE.exe and CONTENTMENT.com are copying themselves
All over my HEART. Is this normal?
Technical
Support : Sometimes, for others it takes a
while, but eventually everything
gets downloaded at the proper time. So, LOVE
is installed and
running. You should be able to handle it from
here. Ah, one
more thing.
Customer : Yes?
Technical
Support : LOVE is freeware. Be sure to
give it and its various modules
to everybody you meet. They will in turn share it with other
people and they will return some similarly cool modules
back to you.
Customer : I will! Thanks for your help!
By the way, what’s your name?
Technical
Support : You can call me the Divine
Cardiologist, also known as The
Great Physician, but most call GOD. Most
people feel all they
need is an annual check-up to stay heart –
healthy, but the
Manufacturer (ME) suggests a schedule of
daily maintenance
for maximum efficiency. But another way, keep
in touch…
No comments:
Post a Comment